I've tried to write this post since we crossed 100 days on the road. We now only have less than sixty days LEFT! Maybe I can finally get the words that continually roll around my head on paper (blog!)
We've officially booked our return flights home from Sydney on November 21st. It seems surreal but at the same time feels right.
Would we love to continue this journey forever? Some days yes, some days no. We've loved the adventure so far, but think we agree that 9-10 months is the perfect amount of time for us. We are starting to hit travel fatigue and missing home more and more. Experiences have started to blur together just a bit more than they did at the beginning. We've seen four continents and checked off more bucket list experiences than most people ever dream of completing. We are thankful. We remind each other to live in the moment. We have fallen in love with places we never expected and been disappointed in places we thought we'd love.
The strange thing is, I've felt all these things since the start of our trip. For six and a half months, the feelings have stayed the same. It never felt right to say these things out loud only 30 days in or 100 days in. Now that we near the end, I know that the feelings are truly how I feel, not just homesickness.
So, how do you explain that feeling to others? How do you say this trip was and wasn't what we expected at the same time? Does this sound ungrateful for our experience? I hope not.
We have grown so much as a couple and as individuals. We know we will be a bit more selfish with our time when we return home. We will enjoy life with one another more and be more selective in organizations we give our time to. We want to fill our lives with experiences with those we love most. We want to draw closer to God as a couple. We want to start a family. We want to open our home more and be grateful for the moments laughing with family and friends.
In many ways, our life bucket list has grown. We've continuously added more places to our travel list. We have made lists of goals we'd like to accomplish. We've talked about all the different careers we could have over our lifetime. Incredibly, I know we will fulfill many of these. I also know we are more flexible to let life happen now. We've started to open ourselves up to living in different states.
As we close in on one month from our return, we've both started to feel the pressure creep in. It's decision making time. Resumes need updating. The time has come to start figuring out our next moves. After such a break it seems like it would be easier, but it doesn't feel easier. Clarity hasn't come like we hoped it would in the form of the AH-HA lightbulb moment.
It feels like the end of college again, when your entire life has been about completing the next step and now the future is unknown. What is the next step for us? We think we have an idea and we are moving in that direction. We also know this trip has opened our eyes to other options. Nothing feels off the table anymore. There in lies the problem. We could do anything, go anywhere. We've already made a huge leap of faith on this trip and now any leap of faith seems doable with the right planning and preparation.
For now, we enjoy our last night in Cambodia, listening to the rain come down and wrestling with the idea of what's next, but knowing whatever the next adventure is, it's going to be so much fun together.